Talking to Children about Gestational Surrogacy

If you are considering becoming a surrogate mother, you may be wondering how to explain your pregnancy to your own children. It is important to approach your children with an age appropriate explanation of this unique experience.

Young Children
It is beneficial to offer your young children a more simplified explanation that will help them clearly understand that the baby you are carrying is not their brother or sister and that the baby has parents who are anxiously awaiting his or her arrival. Most young children are able to grasp the concept of surrogacy when given an honest and straightforward explanation such as, “I am carrying a baby for someone who cannot carry a baby in their belly.” A simple explanation should be sufficient enough for your child to understand the pregnancy without overwhelming them with too much information. However, depending on the level of curiosity of your child, you may end up providing a more ample lesson on reproductions.

Tween & Teens
Carriers who have tweens (pre-teens) and teens may choose to see the approval of their children before moving forward with the surrogacy arrangement. Tweens and teens are capable of understanding the science and reasoning behind surrogacy as well as your own personal motives. At this age, your child may be more concerned with what to tell their friends above anything else. You can let them know that they can easily answer their friend’s questions by stating, “My mom is carrying a baby for someone who is unable to carry a child on their own.” This statement is accurate whether the intended parent(s) are a heterosexual couple, a same sex couple or a single individual.

Open Communication
The feelings your children express towards your surrogacy journey may vary at different stages of your pregnancy. It is important for you to remain as open, honest, informative and supportive as possible – even if your child is expressing negative behaviors or emotions. In the end, it is essential that your child understands that although you are carrying a new baby, it does not, in any way diminish your love for them.

Welcome Baby F & Baby J!

The Surrogacy Experience wants to congratulate Sean & Stephanie Moore on welcoming their two beautiful and healthy twin boys into the world! Also, a big thank you to their carrier, Tina for making this all possible!

Choosing a Surrogate Mother

Choosing to have child is an emotional and beautiful experience. Choosing to have that child through surrogacy is an emotionally charged decision; one that must be approached with the most careful consideration.

As an intended parent, a positive surrogacy experience is important, and being matched with the right surrogate mother is imperative. Although there are a number of other considerations that may arise throughout your journey having the confidence that your surrogate mother is right for you and your loved one may alleviate unnecessary stress or anxiety.

It is best to be matched with a surrogate mother whose surrogacy expectations and desires are similar to your own. As an intended parent you may also want to be sure that your carrier’s motives are genuine and that she is wholly committed to the process and all that goes into it.

Women who apply to become surrogates undergo thorough physical and emotional pre-screenings before being matched with intended parents. Taking these precautionary steps allows for a more streamlined matching process and a more positive experience for both the intended parents and carrier overall.

Surrogate mother candidates are also required to complete a background check and comprehensive profile that includes important information such as pregnancy history, employment information and their motives for becoming a surrogate. This helps to eliminate any questions as to whether the surrogate mother is right for you.

The ultimate goal is a healthy and happy baby and a great experience for the intended parents, surrogate mother and their loved ones. The surrogate mother receives the rewarding experience of knowing she has enriched the life of a family that desperately wants to raise a child, and the family is blessed with the gift of life. It can be an incredibly emotional and rewarding journey for all those involved.

Important Aspects of Surrogacy All Intended Parents Should Understand

Gestational surrogacy is quickly becoming a more realistic and accepted alternative for couples and singles, straight and gay, to fulfill their dreams of family. Although it may seem like a simple process, surrogacy is quite complex. Thoroughly researching and understanding the process is essential before deciding if surrogacy is the right decision for you and your loved ones.

Why Choose Surrogacy?

Many couples and singles turn to surrogacy because it offers prospective parents several advantages as a parenting option, including at least one genetic relationship to the child and, although varied by state, surrogacy allows for a more straightforward process to establishing parental rights. Those who choose surrogacy include:

•    Women who may have trouble conceiving or carrying a pregnancy
•    Women who may experience high risk pregnancies due to a prior illness or disease
•    Women who are unable to conceive naturally (e.g. have had a hysterectomy)
•    Same sex couples
•    Single individuals

Professional Guidance & Support:

Once you have made the decision to move forward with surrogacy you will have a team of dedicated professionals there to help guide you through every aspect of your journey. These professionals include:

•    Your chosen surrogacy agency
•    Qualified legal counsel
•    Doctors, Clinics and hospitals
•    Licensed psychologist

Working with qualified professionals helps to avoid any legal or medical complications and alleviates unnecessary stress and anxiety.

Finding the Right Match:

The relationship between you and your surrogate mother is the foundation of your surrogacy experience. Therefore, it is important to establish in broad terms, a clear understanding of your expectations of the relationship between you, your loved ones and your surrogate mother. Clearly defining your expectations of your unique surrogacy experience will help in finding a surrogate mother who best suits you. The following are some topics to consider:

•    What type of communication do you wish to have with your surrogate mother before, during and after the pregnancy?

•    If you choose to continue communication with your surrogate mother after birth

Is Egg Donation the Right Choice for You and Your Family?

The decision to use an egg donor can be an emotional journey involving a wide range of medical, emotional and psychological considerations. At The Surrogacy Experience we are committed to providing you with the knowledge and support needed to understand if using an egg donor is the right decision for you and your loved ones.

To be considered as a potential donor by TSE you must first meet the minimum requirements. A partial list of those requirements includes the following:

·         Between 21-29 years of age (up to 31 for experienced donors)

·         BMI under 29

·         No use of illegal drugs, cigarettes or alcohol abuse

·         College education preferred

·         No reproductive disorders

·         Knowledge of family and medical history.

We prescreen all of our egg donor candidates before they are accepted into our program to ensure they are physically, psychologically and emotionally prepared to give this precious gift.

It is crucial that all intended parents arrange qualified legal representation to protect their parental rights and interests during the egg donation process. TSE will arrange legal representation for intended parents as needed. Legal counsel should be retained early in the process in order to develop a thorough understanding of the specific circumstances of each case.

What Comprises Surrogacy Costs

The cost of surrogacy is determined by several factors, including location, insurance coverage and if you choose to use an agency. More detailed financial information is explained within your surrogacy agreement however, below are some of the surrogacy costs intended parents can expect to pay:

·         Surrogate Mother Compensation: The amount of money a surrogate mother earns varies depending on her individual circumstance. Repeat surrogate mothers may be compensated at higher levels and carriers who give birth to multiple children will receive additional payment.

·         Medical Expenses: Intended parents are responsible for all of their surrogate mother’s medical expenses including any medications, procedures and doctor’s visits. The total cost of medical related expenses may vary depending on the insurance coverage of both the intended parents and surrogate mother.

·         Travel Expenses: Any travel your surrogate mother must do is the responsibility of the intended parents. This can include airline tickets, gas, meals and accommodations. Intended parents must also take into account travel expenses for themselves; such as if they choose to attend doctor’s appointments and the birth.

·         Legal Fees: Intended parents are required to hire legal counsel for the drafting of the surrogacy agreement. Surrogate mothers are also entitled to have legal counsel review the agreement on her behalf. The intended parents are responsible for covering these cost.

·         Variable Compensation: Intended parents may also be required to cover various other expenses such as lost wages, childcare and housekeeping if your surrogate mother is placed on mandatory bed rest.

For more detailed information regarding financial expenses related to surrogacy please visit our website or call 1.866.264.7211

Surrogacy Legal Matters

Before embarking on your unique surrogacy journey it is essential that surrogate mothers and intended parents thoroughly research the laws regarding surrogacy in their state. Surrogacy laws are determined by the state of the surrogate mother and may vary based on the intended parents individual circumstance; such as their sexual orientation and marital status; therefore, it is imperative to understand the specific surrogacy laws and restrictions.

            Once you decide to move forward with surrogacy, our agency will arrange legal representation for you and your surrogate mother. Legal counsel will help with the following:

1.      Legal counsel will draft the agreements governing your relationship with your surrogate mother. This agreement will help to protect the parental right of you and your surrogate mother during and after the pregnancy.

2.      Legal counsel will help to file the pre-birth order which allows for the intended parents to be listed as the child’s legal parents on the birth certificate.

For more information about the legalities of surrogacy, please visit our website or contact our agency at 1.866.264.7211.